private

to go private or to not go private?

i deleted all of my previous posts, reevaluated a few things going on and decided that it was time to write not as much.

reason?

personal....
so many of my friends who record their family's "comings and goings" on blogs go through this decision and i seem to come to it often.  i am going through a child custody trial and think i should make my life more private.  then i have the other side that makes me think i am not hiding anything, enjoy sharing pictures and stories about jack {i think every parent does}... so for now, the previous blog posts are archived.  i know i will never get around to printing them but at least i recorded the fun things jack and i have been up to.

it's been a humbling experience receiving emails from mothers all over the country and switzlerland, uk and aus that have been reading my blog.  to know that i can maybe help someone who is going through a trial or motivation to get through their day; makes me incredibly happy.

family...
they have been there for me since the day jackson and i drove that uhaul home, weight off my shoulders from the things i had experienced and a new perspective on how great jack and my future is now going to be.

trying to "do it all" it all comes back to the relationship i have with jack. he is truly my everything. when people go through rough times, they cling to what they know is right. i have come to know that my Savior and Heavenly Father love my tiny family of two so much that he will protect us from any harm. i have found peace in knowing that during this rough time, jackson loves me as a mother - even when i fall short of not being able to be home with him all day like i use to. that has been a struggle for me to cope with. as most if not all single moms, we must work.  i think of him all day and bother my mom with calls and ask her to take him up to where i work so i can see him for lunch.  not just single moms have to work now but at times i feel like "i didn't sign up for this" or whatever attitude that is easy and then decide the better one is to just learn how to find happiness in each situation.  no point of finding pain in this short time.  all we can do is find happiness in everything.  everything.

so in a sense, i am grateful for these lessons. though they are hard, i feel i have come to know my life's mission - to help others get through rough times...

i am grateful.

i have been humbled but have room for more. hopefully i won't have to go through much more to become humbled but know it's not my plan but the Lord's.  if i put my trust in Him always i will always find peace. it can sometimes not the easiest road but it seems like the one i need to travel on for now.