this post is rather hard for me to muster out.

a few months ago, one of my dearest friends that i met when i first moved to san francisco has been diagnosed with stage four colon cancer.

on sunday i was sitting in church and one of the speakers spoke about her not thinking anyone in the congregation knew who he was talking about.  i was sitting there as a visitor with tears down my cheeks.  he spoke about this amazing woman his daughter helps out because she has a newborn, her oldest is five and is going through chemotherapy.

sara and i met about four years ago and clicked instantly.  we both served the youth of our ward in young womens in the presidency together.  her oldest, jacob would come to our meetings and i would just watch her carefully as she mothered him so well.  i thought to myself many times as i had just a newborn, that i hope to be like her someday.  she is witty, extremely witty.  one of those people that is so unique with her personality, that it makes you want to be around her more often.  she was always so giving but in a careful way.  she found light in all situations.  she is an amazing chef.  she would invite me over all the time for breakfasts and have the table all set up as if i was someone so special to her.  when you speak to her, she listens with great intent.

when i told sara that i was planning on moving back to orange county, she helped me pack my boxes and store them at her house.  she was that friend that got me through my divorce.  i didn't open up to too many people but sara was there for me.  always checking up on me before the move; making sure i was okay.  when i finally moved back to orange county, she was that friend that called, sent me letters in the mail and was such a warm smile i could depend on to know everything was going to be okay.  whenever i would come up to san francisco to do our drop-offs, i would have sara always being so willing to pick me up from the airport, make me home-cooked meals, take me on errands with her and meet me anywhere just so we could see each other.  i look forward to seeing her name on my phone or in my inbox.

i was visiting a mutual friend of ours right before christmas and she asked me if i knew about sara.  she told me the whole story.  i was in shock beyond explanation.  how could this happen to sweet sara?  she has such a great, healthy life that just started to get more comfortable with having her husband's job allow him to be home more often, her family is complete with two boys and a girl, a beautiful home on top of the hills in millbrae, and so many other great blessings.  from that point on, i was all emotion.  do i call her? do i send her a letter?  what do i do next?  if i talk to her, i am just going to cry. i remembered what i liked when i had my brain surgeries.  i loved hand-written letters.  i tried to get out my pen and paper to write down something, anything.  nothing came out because my eyes were so damp and my emotions were too strong.  how could something like this happen to her?  how much i would rather take on her pain then watch her go through this.

i finally called her a month later; truly disappointed in myself for taking so long to be there for her.  we talked and of course i tried to remain strong after piggybacking on her strength in her voice over the other end.  she was such an inspiration to me.  i knew she was a great influence to anyone who knew of her story.  the doctors are giving her months but she said she is going to survive through her faith, her preisthood blessings she received and her trust in herself for not giving up.

my heart reaches out to her and although i feel helpless living so far away, i know she has comfort and strength from so many prayers that are being heard.

i feel some closure from actually putting my feelings into actual words now.  i love sara so much and her beautiful family.



things are going really well.
my face hurts most of the time at the end of the day from smiling so much.
just wanted to share my happiness with ya'll.
today we are going to san francisco for the day, i'm dropping little jack off, then flying on the same plane back.
loving this feeling all the time.


i am just loving life right now. things are going really great!


lovely packages

there is a website called lovely package i like to browse threw, and low and behold, my sister's husband is featured on it...
on this piece under student work.

we are a scrabble loving-playing family so i thought this was cool he designed a package for it. 
very NEAT drewbles!


four by four

"love me without fear
trust me without questioning
need me without demanding
want me without restrictions
accept me without change
desire me without inhibitions
for a love so free...
will never fly away."

-dick sutphen


almost .friday. {president's day weekend}

{image found here}

let's talk about how exciting this weekend will be...
uh, so fun.
i'm taking jack to disneyland, doing hair of course, a night in laguna beach, a close friend's bridal shower, brunches, no plans yet for monday but we will fly by the seat of our pants... just lots of quality time with my boo.  
the anticipation is killing me. even if it rains, i'll still parade around about it.

{SIDENOTE: this is my last public post.  i don't know if you all got my notice about my blog going private.  i had lots of emails and other ways of communication about it after i did a few weeks ago.  just make sure you send me your email address/comment if you haven't already asked. this blog is going private by tuesday-ish. thanks!}

if you have kids, if you like fashion, then you will love this zara line. super cute.

44 presidents all on a letterpress... found here.

an interesting article about kissing

wild animals is a self-published book that plays tricks with your eyes.

may have died a little when i saw the new anthropolgie wedding collection. best i've ever seen.

if you are a celiac, or want to start eating gluten-free, here are some of the best blogs, websites etc.

spring is coming, watermelons are almost in season... so is this watermelon ring - so unique! i think i'd be 100% happy if it was a wedding ring.  what do you think?

vidal  is a well known hair stylist who has a movie premiere coming out tonight (well friday night) in los angeles!

hope everyone has a nice and safe holiday!


oh the places we will go... on special days.

{the cookies he made for me in his preschool class-
the bottom half of me might as well have mom-jeans on with this hairstyle}

this valentines day was sweet as a peach.
it was filled with some pretty rad people, time in a swimsuit, quick errands, amazing food and then flew to the bay area...
to pick up jack!

our flight was delayed and in a different city due to complications so jack and i had a date night in the airport... we had the place all to ourselves!
TSA just ate up jacksters. gave him hershey kisses, a police sticker badge, they were so nice and helpful.  best airport experience to date.
we treated ourselves to some swedish fish and chocolates...
even some swedish fish/chocolate sandwiches. 
 i think we ate so many that our tummies both were past the feeling of sore.

our flight attendant was so cute with jack too.
she woulda taken him if i looked the other way.
this is what happened next...
scratched jack's back to sleep and then army-carried his 49 lb. body with his bag, my purse and my 125 pound body from the plane to the parked car... totally asleep.
he stayed asleep the whole drive home, carried him upstairs, dressed him while he was asleep and crashed right at 12am. 

LOVED our night together.
love having him home.


french navy valentines

so valentines day...

last year in preschool i spent hours and hours making mustache lollipops and paper-airplane valentines for his friends.  i think i did little goodie bags too.  i was trying to think out of the box or something.

this year i had good intentions paved with ideas to do homemade something again, got the supplies, had jackson on board... cut out over three dozen hearts from paper he painted and we both fell asleep while doing it at 7:30pm! so unlike my usual.  i woke up at 3am with scissors in my hand, jackson's left cheek on my right upper thigh, paint, no wait, maybe drool on my face... thinking i wasn't going to get around to this with three tests in the morning.  my sister-in-law saves the day and made them look normal for me when i dropped him off for preschool but i must say this year shocked me when i picked him up from class.  there were kids giving out pictures of themselves holding multiple amounts of red balloons, godiva chocolates?!, balloons attached to the goodie bags, a matchbox with a mr. goodbar inside... i was so impressed.  so we had time to make a valentine from jack to his daddy, and some of his little friends while waiting at the airport.  

i'm spent 
but here is a quote that i like; even when it isn't lovers day.

Love is the fire that warms our lives with unparalleled joy. It should be our walk and our talk. -President Uchtdorf

albie design

albie's design of abstract cities looked like fun and i kind of want to frame...

jack is in san francisco.
i get to be there on valentines day for one hour.
... more to come about valentines day...


happy birthday dad {old post from 2008, cut + pasted}

Today is my dad's Birthday!
I wanted to dedicate this post to him on his special day as part of his gift.
There isn't one person I know that knows my father that doesn't JUST ADORE him!
My dad is a one-of-a kind.
He is so special to me.

One of the many things I admire about my dad is how he treats my mom. He is such a great husband and has always been.Whenever my mom needed something, he was right there to help her. He is always affectionate to her in front of us kids and through all of my mom's numerous surgeries, my dad pulled through while getting his MBA and commuting from Carlsbad to Irvine to work everyday. He is an incredible example of what a father and husband should be.I am so grateful for my dad's example especially because my brother Mitch is a great husband + father in his own family.
For those of you that haven't had the full VICTOR experience, allow me to introduce to you some of his favorite things and then some....
1. DIET COKE: (it use to be regular as of a couple years ago)
- If he is home, the diet coke must be in the freezer for :45 minutes, so that it is slushy. Keep in mind the tall glass is joining the can in the freezer to make the experience even better.
- If my dad is ordering a diet coke, whether it be at a drive-thru, a causal place or a restaurant he is always very diligent in explaining how the ice must be in the glass. Not half full but about 1/3 full (fingers rasied so they can see the proper measurement) to the top of ice with the rest Diet Coke. Refills are on average 2-3 in one sitting - easy.
- Every morning he must read the WSJ. Without fail. Usually he will quote an article to at least one-two people throughout the day of something interesting he read or he will cut out an article or two for someone he is thinking about that it applies to. Without fail, there is a yellow sticky note on the article.
- My dad is always involved in local and White House politics. I remember when I was in high school and the marriage prop 122 came out, he rallied his friends in a pick-up truck he rented to place "NO Against Prop 122" Signs all over Southern Orange County.
- We all know Mitt Romney has been consuming his extra time lately. It use to all be about the Blog BlOg bLoG. Now it's about the race for president but it is over luckily.
- He has been doing this since he was a little boy. He is a great surfer and it brings him so much joy. It helps him
release any stress and he loves it! I remember growing up how he taught me how to surf before I knew how to swim.

- One of my dad's favorite passions is Photography. He took a class at BYU back in the day and has developed a natural talent for it.

Some things I love about my Dad...
My Dad is great. He's always running around, being a part of us Lundquist kid's lives. I remember him always making it to every dance recital, dance competition, every church event or shows. Always being so supportive and then complementarity after even if I messed up a duet in front of hundreds of people!
... so supportive.
Something I love that my dad did is he began taking me on "Daddy-Daughter-Dates" since I can remember. He would open my door, take me to my favorite place for dinner and then usually a movie or Thrifty's ice cream. From this example, I am reminded of how important I felt when I was with him on these dates. As I grew older and these dates became cheesier, I look back and think how lucky I am to have a father that taught me how I should always be treated on a date.
One of my fondest childhood memories is of my dad taking Mitch and I and sometimes Elise to the Dana Point jetti every Sunday. We would hike the jetti there and back. My dad would always fill me up with so much confidence as I was stumbling all over the rocks and tell me I was great. He told me I could do anything.

Dad is also a great chef at two things... Tuna Sandwiches and Pancakes. Although lately he thinks using Olive Oil over vegetable oil is better in Pancakes... I'm working with him on this one.
Vic/Vicky is known to correct us kids on proper Grammar. 
He puts Salt on EVERYTHING. Even watermelon.

A few weeks ago, I sent an email out to some close friends and family, asking if they wanted to contribute to this blog post. Here are a few pictures and responses...

(email from one of his best friends - who I thought was my uncle growing up)
Here's a blackmail pic of so
rts with your dad "hitting the bottle" on our cruise. "What goes on in the ocean ... stays in the ocean". 

(email from Aunt Linda Lundquist)

The only thing I can think of is the first Thanksgiving I spent with Rex's family. Gary, Vic, Kelly, Nana, Papa, Rex, myself, and I don't remember if anyone else was there or not. Vic was 9 years old. In the middle of the dinner he asked me out loud in front of all the relatives, if I was going to marry his uncle Rex. Obviously, he hadn't asked me yet. All I could think to say is "Well, we'll have to wait and see". After everyone had a big laugh, and the blush went away we continued with a great dinner.
Aunt Linda & Uncle Rex

(email from my mom's sister Stephanie) 

Because we only see your dad every couple of years, we can put our memories of him into "era's". The Top Gun era where he was convinced he was Tom Cruise's double with black jacket and glasses. The John F. Kennedy and Chappaquidick eras when he was determined to "find the truth", his "Sports nuts" time and now of course, he is in the Mitt Romney era. We love your dad's enthusiasm and focus on the things he is passionate about!

Once he told us of a "hormone chart" he made for his daughters. I don't remember the variables for this chart, but it was so funny that your dad would put that together!
I hope this helps.

(Email from our good friend Su Billings)

We laughed at Vics “24” obsession. I’ll never forget walking in and seeing him watch one of his first episodes with the couch pushed up maybe 2 feet from the TV. His eyes were wide and he was hooked!

(email from Kim Devine ... Mitch's Wife Lindsay's sister. She is like our sister)

Shortly after Lindsay and Mitch had been married, the Lundquist's came over for a classic devine/Lundquist family gathering. After a couple hours, Victor maybe got a little restless and insisted that i go with him to take a spin in his new BMW. So i accepted and after he floored it on freeway entrance , surpassing speeds of a 100 mph, he then insisted that i too, give it a whirl and drive her home. With an already bad reputation for driving and a not so pristine history, as a 19 year old, i hesitated the chance of climbing behind the wheel of his new pet. But he of course urged me further, so i gave in. As i drove cautiously home, he egged me on, to go faster and try out her power, teasing me for being a slow driver. I'll never forget this evening with Victor. I love his passion for life and for all in it that catches his attention, as he runs with it. I love him as a good friend, a sincere human being, a wonderful father and an example of faith and courage. Happy Birthday Victor to a dear friend, an inspiring individual and my Buddy.
Love Kimmi

Happy Birthday! I look forward to dinner and U2 Imax tonight! We all hope it's a special day for you. I love you.
Love Always,
M xxxx

Posted By Just for Melissa to Melly Mel + Jack at 2/11/2008 12:34:00 PM


so fly

this project in new york called dancers among us, is pretty interesting. don'tcha think?


day 39 of 2011

he said:
"mom, so i didn't have a toy for sharing time at preschool today, so i had will, isabella and everyone in my class touch my head."
he since has a buzz.

after he had me smiling, we got our helmets on and played out front.

i feel so lucky to have this little buddy in my life.


a reason

i gave jack a heart that i made out of fabric on tuesday.
i told him to hold it close to his so when i'm gone all day and he misses me, he can keep my heart with him always.

when i got home, he ran up to me when i came out of my car.
he pulls my heart of his pocket and said this...
"everytime i missed you today mommy, i kissed my heart, put it in my pocket and brought your heart everywhere i went today.  it was like you never left."

ah. i died a little.
i'm so lucky.


ten days

i so should be studying for my huge test next week or typing out all 260 vocab words i need to know but i have decided to be in my la la land for a sec.

i'm a huge fan of valentines day.  i'm all about the lovey dovey, touchy, red, pink, candies, nonsense.  so this is what i think of ten days before the big v-day. maybe these cheesy ideas will get your heart-shaped wheels turning if you need a little push.

- make sugar cookies in the shape of lips and bring them to someone who needs kisses.
- heart attack someone's lawn or door with hearts.
- make colorful heart cut-outs and hang on door and over the dinner table.
- stick the window rubber stickies up.
- play "i spy" with a toddler for only love/heart things.
- spend time with your child without any distractions.
- make a love songs CD for your visiting teacher.
- wear red lipstick all day.
- text someone you haven't called or talked to for a while.
- visit your grandma or grandpa. they love their grandkids.
- drop off a gift of something small that would make someone smile, especially if they need a smile right now.
- take pictures in a photobooth with someone you love.
- lay on the grass and look at the clouds for heart shapes. (super cheesy but sounds dreamy)
- call someone that needs love.
- make a living room picnic with all it's trimmings.
- drive-in movies.

if you are married, these are some ideas i loved to do:

- find a fun, new recipe you have never tried and surprise your husband with it when he comes home.
- make his lunch for valentines day if you don't meet him for lunch and make it all heart shaped or red. he may thinks it's embarrassing but who cares.  you love him.
- layout his clothes all pressed and ready for the next day - shoes and socks as well (if you don't already).
- put sweet notes or inside jokes, sexy notes inside whatever he would see the next day... (ie: jacket, hoodie, next to his breakfast, inside his shoes, by his skateboard, in his wallet, on rear view mirror.
- get him something simple. guys like thoughtful, simpleness and lots of compliments.
- be a fun wife ALL DAY and NIGHT.

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