jackson's point of view

listening to: parlor hawk
here is that post i do when i remember, of pictures jackson captures with my camera...
i do realize this could be like another child's artwork on the fridge in a different way, but i think it's kind of interesting to see how a "free-and-a-half-year-old" sees the world.

one of our many BART rides

i would feel comfortable saying this is a lucky shot

we know this airport well...

passing out "cuties" to the homeless on the streets

one of our walks

a san francisco cafe

best investment

at cafe milk and honey... trying to keep him entertained while i catch up with a friend

cherries jubilee

i have grown a'liking to cherry blossom trees.

they are blooming everywhere especially in D.C., northern california and japan in april.

here is a collection of some i enjoy.

{photo by me}

{found here}

{me again - on a random roadtrip while driving}

{here}

{by me again}

{ffffound}

{here}

{fffound}

{art.com}

{while on my run in northern ca}

{by mi}

{english blossoms... swoon}

{me - SF golden gate park}

{ffffound}

and then, my favorite because they are from japan...

{from blisstree.com}

m-hizzle

one of my sweet friends got married... 

and i am now, yes, just now posting the pictures from the bridal shower i threw for her months ago.  could days have 28 hours? yes please.

so my dear friend meredith eaton now...hayes who i have known since high school but we went to different high schools.  i was dating her neighbor and she and i got close. 

then we both went to the same college, and had an off campus class together so we carpooled a few days a week.  i can remember days just having a stomach ache (not uncommon) from just laughing with her.

she is extremely brilliant, witty and just easy-funny.  

i wish i could have a lot in common with her because she has it all, but i do have to say, we like our diet coke and most of the time chocolate.

{this is my mom's mug from childhood she bought from her many travels in new york... surprised we haven't lost it or broken it with all 5 kids..}

merzy's friend came all the way from D.C. for this.  so sweet.  we clicked and then realized we use to be neighbors in san francisco.

i bought the table these flowers. hydraindras {sp: too lazy to look it up.}

i did the theme of simple... something borrowed, something blue and something new.

nah, not really but that's what it looks like. 

i just did blueberries and blue flowers with peakcocks.

all of us are really close so we had a good time and there were a lot of others but this is when i didn't bring my camera around.  so sorry for those that got left out of the pictures...

after we played probably one of the only bridal shower games i like now...
toilet paper project runway....
one girl is the designer, the other a model. rules, you have only one roll and have to get creatives.
objective, try to get the bride to pick your dress.

{we called lacey the post wedding night dress.... ++++ and she won!}

then we made a dress for her since her mom was making hers 

and i did her hair with the leftover rolls and three bobbi pins!

then, best part... she opened the gifts we showered her with.

sexy lingerie!

her family tradition is they put each gift on layer after layer....

you can't help but just love merzy!

so here is most of us right after we watched her and jeff seal the deal!!

more pictures on her blog with the link of her name.

it's spring training for baseball....

so everyone has been patently waiting 

to hear who won for the grey giveaway...

ms. shauna will be contacting the individual who won... so fun!

also, thank you very much for all of your sincere comments on my last post. 

i truly appreciate them.  i still feel vulnerable keeping it up, but will let it stay.

i also appreciate the encouragement to write more of those... didn't think those were valued so highly...

so thank you thank you, thank you.

i have a busy weekend with a wedding down in san diego and such.

hope everyone has a great day!

blackbird chirped yes

Listening to: Mouthfull of Diamonds

Phantogram

here is that post that maybe won't make much sense to anyone, or maybe no one. those posts that i feel naked at the end. not any kind of naked but the kind of naked you dreamt about in high school where you show up to school without clothes and you are stuck in a massive group of people all starring at you to see what you are going to do about it.  people who know me best might tell me i was too raw; too honest.  its one of those nights that i just need to free-hand-type-write out my thoughts and not worry about grammar and what people will think about me.

How has life been lately?  Oh man.  It has been interesting.  Lots of highs. i'm in a good spot.  Too many highs for me to be use to.  Where is the fall?  Where is the big - just kidding... life is going to get complicated again?  or is this where things begin to ease up a little?  i remember when things felt the thickest, my dad told me something i will never forget... it only gets busier from here.
...tuckered out all the time but no sleep...

no more.  i can sleep finally and i sleep a lot.  i always have a lot going on, but now i can finally feel like i can really breathe.  i use to be a planner, do other's finances, plan other's lives, outfits, solve problems, etc... then my life went through a "set" similar to those of the shore of the ocean.  a surfer knows it best.  you sit on your board waiting for a set.  when it comes, you paddle hard, turn your board, paddle harder, jump up with both feet and ride the wave.  i did that throughout my life really well.  then i hit a reef (so to speak) and when i came up for air, i found another wave hitting my face before oxygen.  then recovering from that wave and needing that clean air that i craved, unexpectedly another even larger wave hit my face.... so on, and so forth.  i was given a little break to get back on my board but before paddling so to speak, i was hit with another set of waves.

now this storm has come to a calm. a calm that has lasted so long, i am just thinking it's time to paddle in...

it makes me believe that i am ready.

ready for that transition to change.  i am basically armored for anything.  i feel like if i was thrown a curve ball, i wouldn't blink, i would open my eyes wider to know how to catch it from any side.  bring it on.  i can handle it.                ....okay but really this break has been incredibly nice so i'm cool with no curves. thanks...

people often times hit me with {men in general} "you are so independent, where would i come in the picture?"... um hello... i live with my mom and dad.  yes my personality is very independent. i feel completely comfortable showing up to a party by myself, can use the public restroom in the ghettos of santa ana - with pepper spray without a group of girls, pick out my own outfits by myself, shop super quick because i hate shopping, travel by myself, etc etc, but really i like people.  i like having a special someone.  it's been a weird funk i've been in.  i was talking to my sister about this the other day.  we were talking about ever since i was allowed to date, i have had a boyfriend.  the second that boyfriend didn't work out, i had another, then another, then married... then now single.  single in a weird awkward way.  dating a lot.  maybe i am making up for all the time i was always in a relationship.  i missed out on going on those marathon dates i heard about or where you go on a breakfast, lunch and dinner date with all different people in one day.  but hey, let me tell you... it's fun yes, but this hill is steep and i'm going down it quickly.  this independence or small relationships lasting only 6 months tops has been so unlike me.  however, i must say i have been very untrusting.  there i said it.  they say when you go through trauma or a huge break-up you need to heal.  i guess this time has been healing time and i can't just wave my magic wand since i'm healed and ready for the right one to come along.  or the couple that i have dated in the past that could potentially be the right ones but sadly i totally blew it.  if only it would be normal for a girl to call a guy {this is my world - not the present world} and confess her true love.  how much that guy meant to her and how she should have showed it; instead she {i} was worried and over protective.

this sister and also friends have mentioned how great i am when i was married.  how it is my calling in life next to being a mom.  this sounds like a plea to get married.  no no.  please don't take it that way.  i just see dating these days as full of awkward conversations at times, guys expecting girls to not be old-fashioned, not really dating the girls, thinking texting is better than phone calls, getting less eye contact and full of untrust.  which all equals to me: poor communication.  being married previously i know that if you establish a playing field of games and weird communication habits, you set yourself up for failure.  

okay off my soapbox...

so back to things i'll soon regret i typed... i have been on a lot of really fun dates.  it seems like the blind dates are spicier, the set-up dates aka: referrals... have been sweeter, the guys i have been going out with are more blunt, more creative, more humble, more something.  i don't know.  or maybe my perspective has changed?  i do know that i am getting close to something good.  yes, possibly committing in the near future.  letting someone in me and jackson's life for reals.  i once again, am ready. 

with all of that said... i must sleep on this and possibly wake up in the middle of the night deleting it.  who am i kidding, this isn't a personal journal. plus who cares?  i am a single mom with feelings.  

read it with your eyes closed

{pinprikle}

"if a little dreaming is dangerous, the cure for it is not to dream less

but to dream more, to dream

all the time."

-marcel proust

heeeeey shortie

listening to:  we have a map of the piano by mum

i hope you have submitted your comment for the giveaway for tomorrow...

here is a picture from san francisco last last weekend...

at the botanical gardens at the golden gate park.  

top three author

a few months ago i read this book 

i have to say it was one of my favorite reads.  i usually don't blog or talk about many books but as many of you know i am passionate about prevention of cancer, eating healthfully and natural healing but hopefully i'm not too excessive about it.

this author was introduced to me when i saw his movie "everything is illuminated" years ago.  the book is so detailed and even better than the movie.. and i loved the movie.  he is completely compassionate, very thoughtful as well as logical in his writing.  when i read his words, i believe him without any amount of distrust as well as the way he sucks you in... turning each page after page.  his grandmother was a holocust survivor and has very familiar traditions she does with him that i felt comfortable with.  

he doesn't shove eating animals down your throat.  he talks about eating food in the direction of being a father.  he became a father and wanted to understand why his son revolved his life around eating.  his goes to so many animal farms all over the world and finds out every custom and culture.  it's so interesting.  like one state and maybe it was a country beats dogs to death so their adreniline flows through their body before they die makes the meat taste different (i think that was hawaii).

we eat 100 times more chicken as we use to in our culture than we did 30 years ago.  he talks about the meals that don't really matter that we don't need to add meat to it. maybe i enjoy this book so much because i have similar views.  i agree each meal is not necessary to include meat to it.  i believe vegetables should be the majority, fruit should be the dessert and one starch a day if wanted... healthy grains if you can digest them and the rest is sort of "blah blah."

page 266 he describes thanksgiving turkey... the journey he talks about how no animal should go through a life without love.  when he talks about cage-free birds, doesn't mean they lived in tight space.  if they are free-range, doesn't mean much.  you have to have both.  it almost needs to say, "was grown in a family farm, with love" to know that your meat was produced well and not treated in poor conditions.  i sound like such a tree-hugger.  i eat meat now once in a while so maybe i even sound like a hypocrite, but i am glad my eyes have been opened and my mind has been educated from a man who did his homework.  i feel like i have cheated for not doing it on my own but am grateful for this information jonathon gathered.  i am not going to hug turkeys or kiss my meat before biting into it, but i am going to appreciate it a little more or when i purchase it from the store, i will be more educated with what the difference is.

anyway, i happened to turn on ellen today and saw this so it made me want to blog about it now.  you should so read it even if you eat mcdonalds everyday.  tell me what you think.