donate life

i have what seems like a dozen subjects in my mind but not sure which one i wanted to share tonight.  the closest one to my heart worth sharing would be my love for being a mother.

i maybe take this roll all too seriously sometimes but i am so grateful for this opportunity i have been given to raise jackson from the beginning. 

this year will be the first year i will not have jackson with me on mother's day since i have been his mom. i'm going to try my very best to enjoy the day without him... he sang me all the songs he learned for me from school and church and sang them to me before bed last night.  he told me that he wrote out a description of me at school that consisted of these stats:

{according to jack}

my weight: 70 lbs

my favorite food: chocolate chip cookies

my favorite person: jackson

my favorite thing to do: spend dates with brady

my favorite color: light blue

so he was pretty accurate except the fact i am not 70lbs. he knows me. i love it. 

some readers on here have been reading for years and i still have yet to meet you. you know my story...

some, maybe not so much.

it will be exactly eight years in september that i first became a mother to my first son isaac, and then he passed the same day of his birth.  i will never forget this sweet, tender and sacred baby i was given and for all the many lessons i have learned from that experience of being extremely sick to watching my firstborn pass away within hours to the years that have taught me maturity i would not have gained otherwise.  

i think of isaac daily and never dwell on that experience as a negative but have been able to see it only as a blessing; or better yet, a saving grace.  

since jackson has been in my life, he has been what his older brother was to me as well as my best friend. he is loving, forgiving, kind-hearted, generous, naive and many more great qualities i enjoy learning about him.  i'm thrilled at this calling i have to be a mother, to serve him and to teach him morals, standards, ethics and the values i once was taught at his age.  there are times i'll remind him how much i love him or hug him tightly and he will tell me, "maa'om, you told me that 5 minutes ago. i know that already!" it's amazing the natural reaction i have had towards after loosing a child before him.  how much more i maybe enjoy jackson than i could have if this tragedy didn't happen, how much more cautious (or overprotective) i am for him and many more that i will never take life for granted.

it's been about a year now that my dear friend ani and her husband matt have also experienced something close to home with loosing their daughter Ruby to the need of a liver transplant.  i will never forget meeting ruby for the first time at the salon.  i was washing ani's hair and ruby had just came home from the hospital.  she sat on ani's lap and stared up at me with her gorgeous blue eyes.  ani kissed her baby ruby's face so many times.  she had something so different than other babies - you could sense it.  sitting on the sidelines while watching them go through this battle was excruciating.  i felt completely helpless and back to the spot where others might have felt for me.  they tried so hard to get her a liver and could not get the right match with the right size.  

ruby's funeral was so touching. people from all over orange county attended that were in support of ani and matt.  no person there had a dry eye.  ruby meant so much to all of us. they have created a foundation where anyone can sign up to donate life.   please consider becoming a donor.  

to watch their story and see beautiful pictures of ruby jane, please take a few minutes to watch this video of their story.  they are both so inspiring and strong parents.